Thursday, May 29, 2008

Dear birth parents - Open adoption

When we first decided to adopt we didn't know how we felt about open adoption. Now I think that we would be scared to have a closed adoption. For anyone that doesn't know a closed adoption: is where neither party knows the full names, or place of residence. And, when all of the letters and pictures are sent through the adoption agency. An open adoption could consist of visits once a year, email, talking on the phone or visits once a month. It can be as little or as much as you both agree. I think that we were scared of the unknown before. Now, we think that it is so great and wonderful to have Aleena's birth mom in our life. We would love to have our next adoption every open also. We are both very loving and accepting people. Nate is the shy one and I am the talker. Sometimes it is hard to get me to stop. We would love to meet you and maybe even your family. We would love to email you or write letters as much as you need. Pictures are great!! I take a ton of them so you will also be getting a ton. Anyway we just want you to know that we are open to as little or as much as you feel comfortable with. You are going through such a big part of your life and the hardest decision ever. As you are going thought the roller coaster of emotions you are in our prayers. If you choose us or not that is totally fine if you just need someone to talk to we are happy to be there for you. I am excited that Aleena already knows who her birth mom is. She says good night and gives her picture a kiss each night. I know she doesn't understand yet but she will some day. It will just be like she knows she is a girl and she knows she has black hair. She will just know she is adopted and that is a part of her life. We know that there is going to be days that she asks questions and we will be there with loving arms to answer them. I am excited that she will know Shea (her birth mom) and also her birth family throughout her life. We think that adoption is the greatest thing in the world.

Monday, May 26, 2008

It's about love!

One of the reasons that I wanted to do a blog is to share our adoption story. We are also hoping to adopt another child and this is one way that birth parents can get to know us. I don't know where to start besides adoption is the greatest thing in the world and it has blessed our life in so many ways.
When we first found out that we would not be able to have kids it was the hardest thing in the world. We cried for hours just holding each other. That day we knew that we would not thy any of the infertility treatments and that adoption was the right thing. Nate and I wanted to be parents more than anything. There were many times that I would see a new baby and I would just cry. Not knowing how long it would be before I could hold one of my own. I remember when friends or family would call to say that they were pregnant and I had to fight back the tears. One mothers day I was asked to speak in sacrament meeting. I just couldn't do it, I had to tell them no. What would I say? Would I just talk about how much I wanted to be a mom? I think that I ended up skipping Church all together. That was always one of the hardest days of the year. We would also pray each night that our baby would find us. And she did!
Our prayer were answered threw the most amazing girl, Shaleena (Shea). She contacted through email in June of 2006. We email back and forth a few time then she wanted to meet us. I don't think that we slept for days before. We didn't know what to think. Would she like us? What does she look like? While she choose us to be the parents of her baby? The questions just kept coming. We met her and her mom at a restaurant and everything went great. She was amazing. She just seems to know everything she wanted in life. She had so many goals and such determination. It seemed like we knew each other for ever. We talked for a couple of hours and then went our separate ways. Nate and I walked out of the restaurant hand in hand, crying. She hadn't said that we were "that couple" yet but it felt so right. We went home and like a little teenage girl I started thinking of names we could name our little girl. I always wanted to name my first girl Korey kay. Kay is my middle name. Now if Shea choose us I wanted to name her after both her moms. I wrote down kaylee, Kaleena, Alee kay, And Aleena Kay. I know that I am crazy she hadn't even picked us yet.
Two days later on July 4th Shea called us and said that her mom had some more questions for us. We met her at the city fair and had snow cones. As we sat around a picnic table and talked Shea said "I have a present for the two of you" and handed us an envelope. In it were all the ultra-sound pictures of her little girl. She said this is your baby girl that I am carrying. We just held each other tight and cried. I could believe it, was this really happening? Nate just kept squeezing my leg so tight. I had bruises from all five fingers. Our next three months became very crazy tying to get ready for a little one.
Our friendship with Shaleena began to grow. Talking on the phone, email, out to dinner and even to get pedicures. To me Shaleena seems like the little sister that I never had. Talking to her is so easy. We like so many of the same things and love to just have fun and be little kids.


At 3:00 am on October 4th Shea called us and asked us to come and pick her up. She was in labor. I never imagined how amazing an open adoption could be. We went and picked her up, Nate ran every red like and was speeding the whole time. We spend 7 hours in the labor room joking, watching movies, and little sleeping. Seeing Aleena be born was two big for words. A miracle, Amazing, Emotional, Self-less, A blessing, Priceless, and very Spiritual. The tears didn't stop for days. So many different emotions. As Nate and I held Aleena we were so happy, but at the same time hurting so much. I handed Aleena to Shea and we held her together for what seemed like eternity. Looking at her little hand, feet and her cute little lips. I can't imagine the pain that she was feeling. Part of me wanted to say I can't take this child out of your arms again. But I know that is what she really wanted. We spent many hours laying in the hospital bed together talking, laughing and crying. I loved when I would see Shea smile so big when Nate was holding Aleena. He would totally be unaware of everyone around him. That would just reassure me that she know that her choice was right. Shaleena was defiantly sent to us. She is an amazing girl and a great friend.
Then came that sleepless nights and I have to say I loved every minute of it. I did also take naps alot during the day. Aleena is so wonderful. Now we look at our life so different. What in the world did we do before we had Aleena? She fill our life up so much. Now our trial of not being able to bare children is a blessing. We would not have this beautiful spirit in our life if it wasn't for our trial. We know that someday (we hope soon) more children will come into our life through adoption.


So as we have our papers in to adopt if you know anyone that is thinking about placing their child keep us in mind. It is now 2:30 am so I need to get some sleep but I will write more later!!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

"Sugar and spice and everything nice"

Finding the bugs in the "Flavies"

Doing the duck walk with Aleena

Rows and Rows of tulips
Sugar and spice and everything nice! Is that really what girls are made of? What about "snakes and snails and puppy dog tails" I think that this sound more like Aleena. Yes some of the time she is truly a girly girly. But, she is not afraid of any animal and she loves BUGS!! In her eyes sand and dirt the more the better. And, every time we go on a walk she comes home with a hand full of rocks. Aleena, Aunt Rachie and I went to Seattle to see my sister Shari last month. It was such a blast! Seeing Aleena discover new things a plain ride, the boat, walking on the sand, the ocean and many more discoveries. But I think my favorite time with her was at the tulip fields. There was so many flowers everywhere. I have never seen anything so beautiful. Aleena also loved as she calls them "Flavies". But as soon as she saw a bug in one of the Flavies that is all she wanted. So we walked around looking in each flower for bugs. Then she would let them crawl on her finger and play with them. Now she loves bugs.

The next week we had an ant problem (As I would call it). So I went to kill a couple of the ants. Aleena cries "No, mama! No the bug mama! I like, I like!" So I just layed on the floor with her and watched the ants for a good 30 minutes. So I think that Sugar and spice is only a small part of our little girl.

I'm almost a blogger!


Hi Everyone!

I know that I have been out of the "blogger" loop, but I am now going to start. I don't know how faithful I will be at writing but I will try. Lots of the family have blogs and I think that ALL of my friends do. They have been telling be to get it going for months. Well here it is. Welcome to my world. Home of the spelling mistakes!! Oh well I type fast but I do not like to re-read anything.

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